


The Mousetrap Fic

by multibean



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Punishment, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 13:42:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10387926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multibean/pseuds/multibean
Summary: Dan is tired of Phil's cereal-stealing, so he teaches him a lesson which entails physical pain and then makes him swear an oath.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't to be taken seriously; it's the epitome of a crackfic. Someone who regularly reads a fic I'm currently working on came up with this idea and I honestly thought it was a really good one, so credits to them for that! Read this at your own risk (it's not that bad, I swear).

Dan was tired of his roommate’s secret eating problem. He’d even written about it in their book, pouring his heart out to his audience about the grief and despair it caused him. He simply couldn’t take it anymore, so now he’d decided that the only way to force him to repent was to use a little physical force.

A sly grin on his face, he slipped the mouse trap into the cornflake box. Phil usually just ate it dry, grabbing it straight from the box and cramming it into his mouth in small fistfuls, so this was bound to work.

But this wasn’t the only thing he had in mind.

 

“Just getting a snack,” Phil called, before closing the office door behind him. _Good luck with that_ , Dan thought.

He waited for around two minutes – it felt more like two hours – until he heard the " _snap_!" and the groan that instantly followed.

“Oh, my god! What on _earth_?!”

Dan burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it. He was an evil little sod who took fun and revenge way too far, every time.

“Dan!” Phil yelled. “In a spot of bother here.” So Dan headed to the kitchen where he saw Phil with his hand inside the cereal box, an anguished expression on his face. Without saying a word, Dan reached over and pulled the cereal box out of his hands, spilling the crispy golden flakes all over the floor and revealing his hand, which was stuck in the trap.

“I know this was you!” Phil growled.

“Maybe so, but don’t you deserve it? This is my cereal you’re eating. I’ve had to put up with this shit for years. So I thought I’d teach you a lesson.”

“Just get it off me!”

Dan sighed and attempted to pull the metal bar back, which had left a deep red mark on his hand. It looked painful, and he almost began to feel bad, but then he remembered that his original plan had included something much worse than this.

 

Dan sat on his bed, sniggering. _I couldn’t help laughing at what happened to Phil_ , he thought.

And little did the poor guy know that it was about to take a horrible turn for the worse.

“Phil!” Dan yelled. “Come here! I have something I want to show you.” Without hesitation, Phil walked in, not apprehensive at all. Then as he sat down, Dan sprang up and dashed to the door, locking it. _There’s no escaping now, you little bastard_ , he thought.

He began to strip Phil, who was smiling. “Go on,” he encouraged as Dan tucked his thumbs beneath the waistband of his boxers prior to pulling them down and freeing his enormous size. “I want to see what you’ve got.”

_Oh, I’ll show you what I’ve got_. And with that, Dan got up and opened the drawer at the bottom of his wardrobe… carefully lifting out _ten_ mousetraps. Phil gasped. “What the hell, Dan?”

Dan just stared at his lover’s hardening cock and licked his lips. Phil didn’t like where this was going, but what could he do? Dan was the master of seduction.

The younger man knelt on the bed and stripped himself naked before taking the mouse trap to his own cock. Phil cringed, unable to watch as soon as he heard the snap and the impact of the metal against his skin. “Fuck!” Dan shouted as it squeezed the upper half of his penis, the awful pressure focused on one spot, tender and extremely painful.

“What is wrong with you, Dan?”

“Nothing,” Dan began, a strain in his voice. “Nothing at all. Aghh.”

“Take that thing off your dick! Too little blood flow could cause it to fall off. Seriously.” 

“Cause what to fall off?”

“Your dick!” Phil cried, frantically trying to reset the trap. He succeeded eventually and Dan let out a loud sigh. “Jesus Christ! Don’t you dare try to do that to me-” But he was soon cut off by the snap of the mousetrap against his own penis. “Fuck, get it off, now! Oh, Dan, you twat. It hurts!”

Dan laughed maniacally, pressing down harder until the end of Phil’s penis was deep purple. He was wailing, the hard metal squeezing his sensitive flesh until Dan showed him some mercy and released it.

“We’re not done yet, Lester.”

 

“Not the nose. Please, not the nose!”

_Snap._

“Argh!”

Dan reached lower down and gripped the tip of Phil’s cock between his thumb and forefinger before pulling back his foreskin. “No,” Phil warned, secretly kind of excited. Dan snapped the trap against his cock, causing him to give a high-pitched yelp. Then he pulled his foreskin back over it as Phil gritted his teeth and wailed.

“That’ll teach you not to eat my cereal, won’t it?” Dan sneered as Phil attempted to remove it. Dan ignored him and moved onto some more “trappable” parts of his body – his toes, fingers, ears, lips…

He got to work as Phil groaned in agony, tears in his eyes. By the time he’d snapped his lips and ears, he’d figured that the one on his cock was definitely the most painful by far. “Hey, calm down, baby,” Dan purred. “It’s not much different from getting a piercing.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? This is torture!”

“You wanna know what else is torture? You stealing my cereal!” Dan retorted. “It has _ruined my life_! I’ve lost the will to live knowing that you’re sneaking around every half hour, grabbing bits of my cereal and eating them, exposing the others to the air and making them go stale! I’m sick and tired of waking up, looking forward to a lovely bowl of honey-coated crunchy bites or whatever they are, only to find the box nearly empty-”

“Quit fucking ranting and get these off me before my dick falls off!” Phil roared, in a panic.

Dan scowled. “Fine, but I’m leaving the ones on your nose and lips on for a while longer. I guess I can spare you the misery and take that one off.” He pointed to the mousetrap attached to his cock.

“Get it off now!”

“Only if you swear not to steal my cereal ever again.”

 

Phil was still panting. His breathing was laboured and hadn’t shown any signs of slowing down in the past hour. He was sat naked on the bathroom floor, a wet towel wrapped around his sore penis in an attempt to soothe the terrible pain.

_I’ll get that son of a bitch_ , he thought angrily, rubbing his tender earlobes, lips and fingers. He never wanted to see a mousetrap ever again. He never even wanted to eat Dan’s cereal again. Heck, he never wanted cereal again at all.

“Have you finished?” Dan called, impatiently tapping his pen against the desk.

“Just coming.”

Phil got dressed and headed into the living room, then sat next to Dan at the dining table. The brown-haired young man had a light pink A4 slip of paper in front of him, covered in details that looked very important… with a single declaration towards the bottom of the page.

_I, Philip Michael Lester, do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare that I will never eat any of Daniel James Howell’s cereal for as long as I live._

“Is this a joke?” Phil asked.

“Nope. Sign here.” Dan gestured to a small box beneath the declaration.

“You’re making me swear an oath?”

“Indeed I am.”

Wide-eyed, Phil picked up the pen and signed the paper, unable to stop thinking about how incredibly ridiculous this whole ordeal was.

“No more cereal-stealing,” Dan confirmed.

Phil nodded. “As long as you promise no more mousetraps.”


End file.
